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Keep your pecker upOver here in the UK, the subject on most people's lips recently has been the 5 May general election. As you might have guessed, I am not too concerned about politics myself. That said, I did once stand for election in my local constituency on a platform of more liberal licensing laws, enforced pest control for dogs - especially next door's poodle, which seemed to make a habit of befouling my lawn - and a council-financed bid to make Rodean girls' school relocate to the end of my road. Fortunately, my deposit was paid by a wealthy backer because unfortunately I failed to register amongst the leading candidates. The winner's name escapes me. Nasty fellow, will never amount to much. Anthony something I seem to recall. Anyway, last week I discovered...

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